The ABC’s of Self-Reliance
Whole
Life Network Release
How the Johnson Family Learns About Life
“There
is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy
is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take care of himself for
better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of
good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil
bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till.” Essay on Self-Reliance by Ralph Waldo
Emerson
Driving
south from Montrose down historic Dave Wood Road, the old mining re-supply
route to Telluride, you will pass “Hog Heaven”, the farm of David and Margaret
Johnson. Long time residents of our valley will recognize the Johnson’s as the
owners of the Daily Bread Bakery on East Main Street. Amazingly, the Johnsons
manage to schedule enough time between running these businesses to provide home
schooling for their six children who are: Mahlon, age 14, Marie, age 13,
Marietta, age 11, Maggie, age 9, Malachi, age 8 and Madeline, age 5. In this
family home school starts promptly at 8:00 am and lasts to 1:30 pm and is conducted
in a cabin that is separate from the main house. After school hours the
children have assigned chores for which they are responsible. A typical
afternoon will find the Johnson children driving a tractor, gardening, feeding
the livestock, milking cows or gathering eggs. During our visit all of this
work was being done with great care, with attention to detail, with a smile on
their faces and in harmony and coordination with the other family members. No
adults were looking over the shoulders of the children to be sure that the work
was done right. A circus act could not have been more synchronized or more fun
for the participants. We asked the Johnsons how they have been able to instill
this attitude of self-reliance in these youngsters. David replied that from the
beginning his sons and daughters had received discipline. Margaret answered
that responsibility and good work ethics were taught at an early age. Both
believe that parents should not over indulge their children, lavishing them
with material “stuff”. They explained how their organic diet, family mealtime
without distractions such as television, and a good night’s sleep all
contributed to their success.
Now the
story becomes even more inspiring. We met the calves, Milkface and Laurel and
Hardy. Each of the older children
“owned” their calf and would be responsible for raising the animal until time
for sale. The proceeds of the sale are then applied to their savings account.
The bookkeeping of the accounts is part of their schooling. Fourteen year old
Mahlon, who was taught to drive the tractor when he was five, thirteen year old
Marie and eleven year old Marietta have all applied and obtained loans from the
Farm Service Agency, a department of the USDA. Mahlon invested the money that
he borrowed in cattle. Marie and Marietta purchased a state-of-the-art green
house and have gone into the business of raising herbs and greens. The girls
sell these organic veggies to be used at the Daily Bread. The green house has
also been invaluable in starting new plants from seeds for planting in the
outside garden. Everything that is grown or raised on the Johnson farm is as
organic as they can achieve, but that's another story. The Whole Life Network
is not advocating home schooling for all families. But we believe that to
produce independent leadership for the next generation our youth must learn to
stand on their own feet, to think for them selves, to honor nature and to live
in harmony with their fellow man.
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Mnemonic Memory Devices for the ADHD Child
by
Laurel Ann Browne
The
Mnemonic Memory Devices are word- associations to help you memorize large
amount of material. This is a great tool for all kids, but especially for those
who “can’t sit still” hyperactive ones. Learning isn’t fun to them and the
resistance is usually because of a short attention span or a lack of interest
in the subject information. They act bored and disinterested because they learn
differently than others. When the Mnemonic Memory Method is introduced to children,
it makes learning not only more fun and creative, but is not boring! These word
associations can be used on any subject and is any type of made up saying that
triggers information you want to remember.
Medical and Law students rely on these techniques all the time. The rule
of thumb is “If you want someone to remember something long term, then tell a
joke about it, sing a song about it or tell a story around it”. When it comes
to Mnemonic Memory Devices, it’s the saying that stays in your long term memory
banks. Students sometimes have to remember and learn subjects they’re not
interested in just to get a passing grade. When you prepare to learn something
new using this method will help you to remember for oral or written
presentations. You need to think W.E.T. You need to associate the right words
, emotions and timing. This ensures recall of a batch of information. The
brain acts like an internet search engine. You can easily retrieve otherwise
hard to remember information. You might be asked to list the order of events of
the Civil War. You could study many books about the subject and commit it to
memory somehow, but you will not remember it long-term. And if you’re taught
the following saying: “Four Bulls Ate Everything That Vicky Grew,”, and repeat
it a few times verbally; draw a picture of Four Bulls Eating
Everything Vicky Grew, then you will remember that phrase. This translates
into a chronological order of events of the Civil War.
Four:
Fort Sumpter, the first shot’s in the Civil War
Bulls: The first major battle of the Civil War
Ate: Antietam, the bloodiest battle in Civil War history with 20,000 casualties
Everything: The Emancipation Proclamation in which Lincoln abolished slavery.
Vicky:
The battle of Vicksburg, which controlled the Missippi River for the North
Grew: The Gettysberg Address, four score and seven years ago…
Now when
you think of the history of the Civil War you will instantly recall: “Four
Bulls Ate Everything that Vicky Grew”, and you will never forget it. Mnemonic
Memory Devices are also perfectly suited for geography, among other topics. The
West Coast uses “Cow Can Can” – California, Oregon, and Washington
up the coast. California, Arizona, New Mexico – to the
East, California, Arizona, Nevada – up top. Kid’s love
these sayings and they love to develop their own too. When learning about the
states around New Jersey, use: New Jersey Cows Run In The Mud.
Translating to: New Jersey, Connecticut, Rhode Island,
Massachusetts. In teaching the Great Lakes, start with Lake Superior on
the left, think of “Super Man Helps Every One”. It’s properly
directional (left to right).
Lake Superior,
Lake Michigan, Lake Huron, Lake Erie, Lake Ontario
This
method was tested by Tom Daley, author of “Unlocking the Gifted Student in Your
ADHD Child”. He gave his students a blank map of the US. The average student
correctly labeled six states: California, Florida, TX and usually three other
states they visited. After using the Mnemonic Memory Method for 2 weeks, using
just 5 states a day, the average student identified 48 of the 50 states…many,
many of these students were ADHD. One creative student raised his hand and
asked “Do you know how to memorize the nine planets?” Coming up with his own
creative word associations, “My Very Easy Method Just Set Up Nine Planets.”
Of course, they were Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus,
Neptune and Pluto. Is this kid, scientific or does he just have a creative imagination. This method will help
him for his entire life, no matter what the subject. ADHD children respond very
well to this simple method of learning. It helps eliminate the distractibility
factor. Kids easily tune into the funny sayings, they’ll better retain
educational material, and they will Pay Attention! This is only the tip
of the iceberg of what our Support Groups are learning, both parents and teens
every 2nd and 4th Wed. evening. We welcome parents,
teachers, professional’s, educators and kids to our groups. Please join us with
your special insights, knowledge or questions. See Calendar of Events for
upcoming special events in June
For more
information:
Center
for Creative Change 249-1345
Laurel Ann Browne
Visionary Counseling
laurelann@bresnan.net
970-249-1345
Rev.
Aryln Macdonald
huna@bresnan.net
970-252-0908
NOTE:
Editor’s correction for last month’s error in title that should have read
“Amazing Phrases”, instead of “Amazing Faces”…
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Remembering Aztlán
a column
of poetry, culture & spirit by Art Goodtimes
SUSTAINABILITY … The World Wildlife Fund International released its
fifth Living Planet Report in the fall of last year, utilizing new scientific
analysis provided by Global Footprint Network to compare the ecological
footprints of 150 nations, and the news isn’t good. Ecological overshoot has
become a reality … Designed to track humanity’s demands on earth’s resources,
the 2004 report uses the concept of a global ecological footprint to measure
humanity’s consumption of natural resources expressed in the land and sea
surfaces necessary to renew them. According to the data, analysis and time
trends in the report, on average, each person on the planet uses 2.2 global
hectares (5.4 global acres) to support their existence. Unfortunately, that’s
20% more surface area than is currently available to support the world’s
population. Thus, there is on average only 1.8 global hectares (4.4 global
acres) available to support each person in our current global population of 6.3
billion people … So, according to this report, humanity’s ecological overshoot
exceeds earth’s regenerative capacity by at least 20% … That’s not good news.
And indeed, between 1961 and 2000 the global ecological footprint grew by 150%
… Further, from 1991 to 2001 – essentially the ten years after the U.N.’s Rio
Conference in 1992 – the ecological footprint in the 27 wealthiest countries
increased an average of 85 per person, while in the rest of the world, it
shrank by 8% per person. In that same time period, the biocapacity available
worldwide decreased 12% per person … And as if that weren’t bad enough, as WWF
International notes, as humanity’s footprint grows, the world’s wild vertebrate
populations shrink. The report catalogues a 40% decline in terrestrial,
freshwater and marine species populations from 1970 to 2000 – and that’s based
on data from 555 terrestrial vertebrate species, 323 freshwater vertebrate
species and 267 marine vertebrate species … The report suggests that there are
three ways to reduce humanity’s footprint: 1) lower world population (the Pope
and the Neocons are working to prevent that), 2) reducing per capita
consumption (even if the U.S. were to do that, China is leaping ahead in
consumption and most of the rest of the world is following along behind it),
and 3) implementing more resource efficient technologies for providing goods
and services … It seems that exploring the third option holds out the most hope
for a tiny rural community like ours. Biocapacity can be increased by expanding
global bioproductive area, improving resource management, and strengthening the
health of ecosystems. Let’s hope that our regional sustainability effort can
contribute to reducing San Miguel County’s ecological footprint.
WEEKLY
QUOTA … “Republicans are running on a
platform of fear: invoking fear about cultural changes like gay marriage, then
presenting themselves as the bulwark of defense against this hideous threat to
the culture and (delusional) beliefs (such as in the sanctity of marriage and
the family when the statistical fact is that fundamentalist religionists have a
higher divorce rate and child sexual abuse rate per capita than atheists) which
the red staters hold dear.” –Lance Christie of Moab
TRACKING
CLASSES … My friend Jonathan Barfield is
offering weekly tracking classes, half-day workshops, seasonal courses and
week-long tracking expeditions … Author of a local tracking booklet, Barfield holds a Masters degree in
Transpersonal Studies from the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology in
California, words as an organic gardener, and is a skilled drummer who’s
studied with Griot masters in Senegal, West Africa … For more info, give him a
call at 970.708.9990.
NUCLEAR
WARNING … A number of my on-line political
sources are concerned that various signs seem to be pointing towards the
increasing possibility of an international nuclear confrontation, Biblical
Apocalypse … As my friend Brian Hill of the Portland-based Institute for
Culture and Ecology suggests, “One is the increasingly close connections
between China and other parts of the world, in particular Iran. Iran is
becoming a major supplier of petroleum to China, and a US invasion of Iran
could be seen by China as an attempt to get a stranglehold on China's energy
supplies, which would in fact be the case.” … China is also reaching out to
Venezuela, where the popular and reformist elected President Hugo Chavez is
standing up to American-inspired destabilization efforts, as well as arming his
country for a possible invasion. Chinese oil deals with Chavez have infuriated
the Bush administration. And the American press is demonizing Chavez and
already rattling sabers against this oil-rich nation … As Mid-East Realities
(www.middleeast.org) writes, “Some kind of World War III seems to get closer
and closer by the crisis, by the fear, and by the new high-tech as well as
low-tech weapons.”
BUMPER
CROP … How many lives a gallon? … God is
a verb … Caribouddhist on board.
IF WE
REALLY CARED ABOUT OIL … Through a
system of fees and rebates, manufacturers, dealers, and consumers could share
in ever larger fees for vehicles that are less efficient than average. These
fees would in turn fund rebates for consumer purchase of vehicles more
efficient than average. Thus computing fuel savings into the price of
acquisition -- a vehicle which will cost you less to operate during its service
life should be cheaper to acquire … If you are carelessly rich and don't care
about fuel expenses, you can still buy your trophy Hummer (No, actually, think
Prius!)
© 2004 Art Goodtimes
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Dea's Kitchen Goes Camping
by Dea Jacobson
Summer's
here and it's time to get out and about and enjoy the gifts we so appreciate
living in the Rockies - fresh air, blue skies and cool evenings to snuggle in
sleeping bags under starry skies. And, of course, cooking out! Preparing meals
in the great outdoors is a joy. With the mountains in the foreground and the
birds serenading, the atmosphere is unbeatable. No microwave, food processors
or electric gadgets are needed here. And just being outside gives us an
appetite that improves the flavor of whatever we eat.
I love
to car camp.I canpack my trusty, 30 year old Coleman 2-burner and my old big
black skillet, which was left behind by some old palscamping across the county
in the early seventies in an old pick up, back when gas was 29 cents a gallon.
I also bring 2 good sized pots, one to clean up with and one for cooking, so my
cooking water never tastes like soap or old food. My kitchen box will have an
assortment of spices that I store in food grade plastic containers (not film
canisters) to give me some creative options. Taking garlic powder, flakesof
chili pepper, basil, oregano, garam masala or curry, cinnamon, ginger and, of
course, salt and pepper, will add versatility to a simple menu of macaroni or
rice. So pack your favorites. Small jars of olive oil, vinegar, and soy sauce
are also among essentials. Lots more tips on backcountry cooking are available
in a cookbook I picked up several years ago while camping in the Canadian
Rockies. It's titled Recipes for Roaming: Adventure Food for the Canadian
Rockies and is published by Babes in the Woods Press. Most of the recipes are
for backpacking, with dried or powdered ingredients. So I've adapted this one
for car or river raft camping, where coolers are available.
Quesadillas
Serves 1 or 2
2-3 small tortillas
2 green onions
2/3 cup sour cream
small block cheddar or jack cheese
Salsa
Oil for frying
Cut
cheese into thin slices and chop green onions. For each tortilla, heat one
teaspoon of oil in a shallow pan on medium heat. Place tortilla in pan. Lay
cheese slices on half the tortilla. Sprinkle salsa and onions over the cheese.
Heat 1 minute then fold tortilla in half over the cheese. Flip the tortilla and
heat 1-2 more minutes until the cheese melts. Cut in half and serve with sour
cream and more salsa.
Great
for breakfast or dinner!
Make
sure you respect the wildlife while camping by keeping your area free of food
flotsam and hanging your foods in a stuff sack or keeping it closed in the car
to avoid tempting the rodents or bears. And never take food into your sleeping
bag! Be safe and enjoy your summer, and do yourself a favor by spending every
spare moment in nature!
Dea Jacobson is the Director of Blue Heron Yoga in
Cedaredge Colorado and can be reached at www.blueheronyoga.com , at Box 95 in
Cedaredge, Co 81413 or at 970 856 4905, or at a campground near you! She
teaches yoga in private and group settings throughout Western Colorado and is a
licensed Religious Science Practitioner and graduate of Naturally Grand Cooking
School.
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Women Making History
by Jill
Burkey
Browsing
through new releases at Blockbuster recently one evening, I was drawn to a
single lonely copy of the film, "Iron Jawed Angels." Having heard nothing about it, I brought it
home hoping my husband would like my blind choice, and we were both pleasantly
surprised.
The film picks
up the women's suffrage movement in the early 1900's with an introduction to
Alice Paul, played by Hilary Swank, and Lucy Burns. The determination and sacrifice of these two women was staggering
and made me want to hold myself to a higher standard. I couldn't believe I hadn't heard their story until now, and I
wondered if I would have been as strong as they were if I had lived then.
Of course I
remember learning about women fighting for the right to vote, but a lot of
important and rather unpleasant details of our nation's struggle were left out
of the history books (I'll let you see for yourself when you watch the
film.) I also had no idea, or maybe I
just forgot, that women were fighting for the right to vote as early as the
Civil War, during which they put off their fight, a move that Susan B. Anthony
later called a huge mistake, and one reason suffragettes continued their daily
pickets of the White House after the country got involved in World War I. One
of the banners used during the pickets said, "Kaiser Wilson, have you
forgotten how you sympathized with the poor Germans because they were not
self-governed? 20,000,000 American
women are not self-governed. Take the beam out of your own eye." According to the film's commentary, all the
banners and newspaper headlines shown in the film were historically accurate,
and the dialogue of President Wilson was comprised of real quotes and speeches
given by him at the time.
It occurred to
me that my own grandmother, born in 1914, spent the first six years of her life
in a country that didn't want people of her gender to voice their opinion, at
least in the form of a vote. How might this have changed who she was as a
person? How might this have shaped the views of her mother and father who raised
her, the opportunities they told her about, paths they encouraged her to
follow?
One of the
suffragettes says during the film, "Courage in women is often mistaken as
insanity," which I think might even ring true today. Today's answer to
that might be found on the t-shirts and bumper stickers I see occasionally that
say, "Well-behaved women rarely make history!" What kind of history are you going to make?
Jill
Burkey is a freelance writer & stay-at-home mother of 2 children. She has a
B.S. in English, Business, and Secondary Education from Nebraska Wesleyan
University & provides professional writing services through Word Wise, Ink.
Contact Jill at 255-7348 or at burkey@frontier.net.
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Peaceful Contributions for the Soul
by Kathy Gates
June is here! Everything is growing rapidly. Look around at all the
beauty. Another perfect opportunity to see the sacred energy-the Creator
flowing freely with vitality all around us. (Do not drive while meditating)
Close your eyes, breath, relax and let go. Do this until you feel a
sense of peace within you. See yourself flowing freely with the Sacred Energy
of Creator; let this energy help you to see the truth and the light of the Life
that is all around you. Let this creative energy flow through the way you
relate to the world around you. Deeply know your connection with the Universe.
Allow your emotions to be freer flowing and balanced. Feel the truth of Life
within your being. Focus on this understanding and feel what comes up for you.
Thank Creator for this understanding. Open your eyes, breath, and enjoy the
rest of this day connected to the All that Is.
Coming to Women's Spirit Retreat June 3-4
Dakini Dance with Tara Stapleton - Dakini Dance is a spiritual practice for
women, which encompasses meditative awareness, spontaneous dance and sound as a
means of grounding the spiritual body fully into the physical body. A 'dakini'
literally means 'sky dancer', a female enlightened being who unfettered, dances
through sky-space riding waves of bliss energy, light and sound and provides
spiritual guidance to sentient beings on their journey of self discovery. Tara
Stapleton has been working with the Meditational Arts in various spiritual traditions;
in 2000 she began receiving direct transmissions form the ascended masters.
Learn more about Tara by visiting our web site activities page at
www.womensspiritretreats.com. The 1 1/2 day Dakini Dance Retreat is $145.00,
which includes the Creation energy activation, Dakini Dance, accommodations and
breakfast. Call Kathy at Women's Spirit Retreat for more information.
Peace and blessings to All
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Aromatic First Aid
© Anne Calzada Herbalist
Last
year I wrote about herbal first aid, this June I would like to share with you
first aid using essential oils. Essential oils are a luxury to have around the
house, but they can also be a blessing when you really need some first aid
assistance. They are also helpful when traveling, camping and playing outside as
many people do in the summer.
These are some common essential oils that
are easy to find and inexpensive in price. As you can see from below that have
multiple over lapping applications. Add these to your first aid kit and you
will be glad that you did!
Lavender
is analgesic, anti-fungal, antiseptic, anti-inflammatory and is a relaxant.
Tea tree
is anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, antiseptic and anti-viral.
Eucalyptus
is antibacterial, anti-fungal, antiseptic, anti-viral, an expectorant,
decongestant and febrifuge.
Chamomile
is analgesic, anti-inflammatory, anti-spasmodic, carminative and a relaxant.
Peppermint
is analgesic, anti-bacterial, anti-spasmodic, carminative, an expectorant and
decongestant.
*Here
are a few suggestions of applications for first aid inconveniences.
Antiseptic:
Lavender, tea tree.
Use a few drops as needed on the cut or scrape.
Asthma:
Eucalyptus, ravensara.
Inhale and apply a few drops on the feet over the toes and ball of the foot.
Bruises:
Chamomile, helichrysum, lavender.
Dilute 1 drop in vegetable oil and apply gently over the bruise or sprain.
Chapped
lips: Lavender, geranium.
Use one drop in vegetable oil and apply.
Fatigue:
Peppermint, rosemary.
Rub one drop over temples.
Fever:
Ginger, peppermint, eucalyptus.
Dilute a few drops as needed in vegetable oil and apply a compress to the chest
and apply on the bottom of the feet.
Headache:
Lavender, marjoram, peppermint.
Apply one drop on the temples or back of the neck.
Insect
bite: Chamomile, lavender.
Apply directly on the bite.
Insect
repellant: Cedar wood, citronella, eucalyptus, lavender, lemongrass,
peppermint.
Use 25 drops of essential oil per 2 oz. of water as a spray.
Insomnia:
Chamomile, clary sage, lavender, marjoram.
Inhale, dilute in vegetable oil and massage, add a few drops to water and spay
or add to bath.
Intestinal
cramps: Chamomile, peppermint.
Dilute in vegetable oil and rub over intestinal area.
Muscle
pain: Lavender, marjoram, peppermint, rosemary.
Apply in vegetable oil and massage affected area.
Rashes:
Chamomile, helichrysum, lavender.
Apply a few drops to the affected area or apply a compress.
Sunburn:
Lavender, peppermint.
Add a few drops in cool water and spray.
Tooth
pain: Clove, helichrysum.
Apply one drop in vegetable oil or directly.
*Please
use essential oils responsibly and please consult appropriate medical attention
when necessary! Be safe, have fun and enjoy!
Anne Calzada is a Certified Herbalist and founder of
Healing Heart Herbs. Her products can be found at Food For Thought in Ridgway
and at other fine natural health outlets. For consultations or classes she may
be reached at 626-5663 or by email annecalzada@aol.com).
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ReConnections: A Look Back
The heritage of The Whole Life Network from the pages of Connections.
One Year
Ago** ”The status of Honorary Lifetime
Membership (in the Whole Life Network) has been established and the first ever
to be singled out for this recognition are David Hauze and Tamara Switzer.”
**Lane
Mills in his book review, “Dreaming Kevin (by Carla Blowey) is a book
which changes lives with healing words”.
Five
Years Ago** ”A group of people from the
Montrose/Ridgway/Ouray general area are getting together to form a branch of
the Universalist Unitarian church”
Sally Dubats
** Karl
Kerr counseled us on “play”: “Playing is not something we do; it is an attitude
that we create at anytime, in any place, that transforms the mundane into the
divine, the boring into the joyful, the required into the desired”.
Ten
Years Ago** ”The Whole Life Network, largely
as a result of some wonderful group planning accomplished at the 1995 Retreat,
has recently been launching some new and innovative programs and
activities.” Christine Knight
**Edith
Gallenbeck, Ph.D. had this suggestion on time management: “I would like to
suggest simplification and anti-planning to gain quality of life versus
quantity in life”.
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The Strange Twists of Life's Journey
Part Seven of a series by Earl Sires
Sitting
here in an oversized reclining chair the strangeness of it suddenly occurs to
me. It was not suppose to be this way. I was to live to the ripe old age in the
company of my childhood sweetheart, whom I had married and with whom I had
lived more or less happily for just short of forty-four years, with whom I had
conceived and reared four lovely children. We were to share our later years
with each other, maintaining a gracious home to which the children and
grandchildren could come and visit us as we glowed goldenly and eldered
graciously.
Yet,
here I am sitting in the home of a dear friend. Before coming here I spent a
week or so exploring beauty in the form of Utah's San Rafael Swell and its
Canyonlands. Before that I enjoyed a week with friend Steve in Salt Lake, and
over the past six months I have lived for short periods with all my children
and many of my good friends. I no longer have a fixed home. I am a nomad. In
the past ten years, I have lived in Cleveland's
west side, Savannah's islands, its historic district and its beach, in Colorado
and in North Carolina, with a short stop between the latter two in sunny
California. I have bought no less than four homes and sold them. I now live in
a small motor home and travel around the country in the disguise of The Global
Nomad, visiting first one then another. I have traversed the country once and
traveled almost 20,000 miles in the process. It wasn't supposed to be this way.
To quote John Denver, "I don't know where I'm going. I don't know where
I've been." Yet, like him, I have found a definite contentment in following
these strange twists on the journey of life. I think I am content with this
because I too know something of what he concludes in his song:
Sweet,
sweet surrender.
Live,
live without care.
Like a
fish in the water.
Like a
bird in the air.
I say, I
don't know where I'm going, yet I do. At least I have the confidence and trust
that I'm going where the road leads me. And even more, I have come to the
awesome realization that no matter were I am in this vast Universe, I am home.
I anticipate that I will spend time with all those I love and in all those
areas that I love, places of beauty. I anticipate that I will devote my
creative energies to celebrating the wonder and beauty of existence, of being,
of the vast unfolding of the Universe and particular aspects thereof. Most of
all I will celebrate the wondrous twists and turns, the surprising arrivals in
unexpected places and our capacity for loving what is, of appreciating things
as they are, of embracing with compassion the life we are given, the results of
our choices.
Of late
I have come to know the story of a young man who was totally in love with
beauty, who intended above all to live life to its fullest, and who, in his
passion for life, walked off one day into the brightness of the beauty he saw
in the grandeur of the canyon lands of the four corners and never was heard
from again. It was as though he saw, as few do, a splendor so overpowering he
could not resist entering it totally. I have glimpsed that splendor here in the
west and elsewhere as well, at least enough to empathize and in a small way to
understand his obsession and his strange departure.
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Put Up With Nothing!
by Dr.
Jerry Overton
In our
culture, to be tolerant is seen as a virtue.It's a sign of great character,
something we strive to become, as if in so doing we will be a better person. We
love to hear others say of us, "She's such a tolerant person!" And we
feel proud of ourselves because we feel so virtuous!
Here's
just a few of the things we put up with, and sometimes, gladly, it seems:
· Relationships that tax us with unrealistic
expectations
· A cramped and cluttered workspace
· Clothes that don't fit us or that we don't especially
like
· Things we buy on sale because they're on sale
· Poor (or no) customer service
· People, even family and friends, who don't keep their
agreements
· People, especially family and friends, who
don't support us
· Appliances that don't work properly
· Software with glitches
· Poor quality food
· Dribble on TV
We put
up with this stuff. And even feel virtuous because of our tolerance! However,
lest we get too carried away with our virtuous selves, let's take another look
at the word "tolerate", and what it means for us to be tolerant.
In my
trusty little Webster's there are three definitions given for
"tolerate." They are "to allow," "to respect other's
beliefs, practices, etc., without sharing them," and "to put up
with."
To the
first two definitions, I say, "Right on—I can buy that." Even smacks
of the virtuousness that we all love. But to the third I say, "Whoa baby!
No way on that one!!"
And just
"Why not?" I can hear our mothers say. Because, dear Mom, that's
where we start getting in trouble, when we go around thinking we've got to put
up with stuff. Our boundaries get fuzzy, we begin to feel put upon, our
relationships suffer, and we lose self-respect. And beside that, where does our
tolerance end? And at what price?
Often it
ends when we can't take it anymore! Like that great scene in the film,
"Network," we may find ourselves flinging open the windows, and
screaming out for all to hear, "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take
it anymore." At least that's what we would do if we could finally
muster up the courage to reclaim some measure of self-respect and self-care.
Or we
may take it out on others in road rage. Or demeaning our spouse. Or shouting at
our children. Or poor self-care. Or a thousand other abusive and violent acts.
Sometimes
it ends when we've put up with so much stuff that we turn it inward. And then
our bodies react with all sorts of dis-ease, ranging from stiff necks and backs
to arthritic hands to colon cancer.
More
often than not we suffer in silence, not wanting to cause a stir. For
after-all, to be tolerant, to put up with stuff, is considered a virtue, is it
not? And we don't want to be seen as un-virtuous, now do we?
Do we?
Only if
we're willing to begin to respect ourselves. Only if we're willing to set good
personal boundaries and maintain them. Only if we care enough about ourselves
and others, and our relationships with them to have such self-respect.
To run
counter to cultural norms takes an act of courage—it's not easy. And to take
care of ourselves, given the fact that it is often seen as a bad thing, as if
it's somehow at the expense of others, is also difficult to do.
And yet,
if we are to live life with joy and peace, and in true harmony with others, we
must show courage and take extremely good care of ourselves. And this includes deciding
to not put up with anything.
The fact
of the matter is that as we claim more self-respect and take better care of
ourselves, then we can choose to offer ourselves to others and have healthier
relationships. We will have less resistance to giving of our time, energies,
and resources, because we will be doing it out of free choice, not out of an
ill-conceived culturally imposed expectation of "virtuous" behavior.
My
friend, I want joy and peace for you. I want you to claim the courage to take
extremely good care of yourself. And I want healthy relationships for you, too.
So,
here's my request:
· Make a list of all the things/people/behavior that you
are tolerating in your life.
· Pay attention to the emotional, mental, physical, and
spiritual energy they deplete.
· Look at each toleration and decide how you can best
handle it.
· Decide which ones you will handle first, and then
handle them immediately.
· Pay attention to your new level of energy.
· Keep handling the tolerations until you've handled them
all—it is possible!
· Decide that you don't really have to put up with
anything that you don't choose.
· Set and maintain the necessary boundaries that limit
tolerations.
· As new tolerations appear, handle them immediately,
and keep tweaking your boundaries to eliminate future tolerations.
· Create systems that handle automatically most of your
tolerations.
· Enjoy the peace and joy of living your life
toleration-free!
Put up
with nothing, my friend. Then, use your newfound energy and healthier mind,
body, and spirit to have great relationships and to do truly marvelous things
in your life.
For you
deserve nothing less.
Copyright ©2005
Dr. Jerry D. Overton All Rights Reserved
Jerry is
a Master Certified Coach and director of The Center for Personal and Spiritual
Growth, 600 S. Park. He can be reached at 970-252-9311, and he welcomes your
call!
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Business Member Profile
Laffin’
Coyote Yoga & Pilates
by Donna Mayry
As we
become acquainted with the practice of yoga, many of us also come to know of
the Yoga Sutras of Pantanjali; the word
sutra literally means thread. Patanjali
didn’t invent the sutras; rather, he compiled existing ideas and practices into
a work upon which we (each of us unique) weave our own individual practices
(you may substitute lives for practices).
In much
the same way I can look at my life, i.e., a series of ideas and practices
which, when I look back, are all part of a thread or perhaps numerous threads
woven together into an amazing mosaic!
I have
always treasured nature and movement. So, of course why not move from Virginia
to Montrose and teach yoga! But the weavings of this journey are many! With my
two children grown and my horses sold, I decided to learn about healing value
of massage and became a certified massage therapist. Having learned this art
and enjoyed it, I wanted to teach movement and became certified to teach
Pilates. Then I went to my first yoga class and that was IT. I now offer my
knowledge as a massage therapist, a Pilates instructor and as an affiliated
Anusara Yoga instructor to assist my students in their own unique experience of
yoga; to create a safe unfolding of themselves into the experience of yoga on
all levels; that is, physical, emotional and spiritual. Each class is a unique
event for me ... enriching and rewarding!
And what
was that about Virginia to Montrose? My husband Mark and I sold our home in
Virginia just over one year ago. We’ve lived in the west and traveled lots in
the west but we hadn’t yet – at this time last year – found the place that was
to be our home. So, we decided we’d just ship the furniture to Grand Junction
and mosey around a bit more.
The
“moseying” was quite brief! What a spot this Montrose is! A wonderful small
town; kind and welcoming people; and speaking of Nature! Which direction does
one look first … no less which direction does one explore first!
Mark and
I and our two small four-leggeds are setting about to rebuild a home
(literally); I’m teaching Anusara Yoga at “A Time to Dance” and we’re both
enjoying making new friends!
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